well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
How does one acquire holy water?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
