Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
