I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize