He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
