This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
