Can i not drive my cunt home
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
