So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
