I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
