She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
