Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
