see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
