ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I will pee on everything he values.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
