Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
This baby is an asshole
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
