butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
