i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
