He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
