Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
