I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize
