You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
