so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Randomize
