i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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