5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
He uses pillows to masturbate.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Everyone says I win the strip club
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
