i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
