the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
