worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
