Fuck appropriateness.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
