As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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