I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I think I sprained my soul last night
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
