I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Randomize
