saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
