Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
