dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
