His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
