im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
vagina is talking i cant
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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