Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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