Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
