ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
