im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
