Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I have feelings that need drinking.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
