I cockslap morals
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
