so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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