Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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