We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
