I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
