I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
