I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
