Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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