ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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