you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
