i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I think people are normalizing furries
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
