My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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