I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
