I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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