the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
