Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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