brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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