One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I cut my penus on the lid.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
