Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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